After exhausting negotiations, Malaysian investigators have finally obtained the black box flight recorder from Flight MH17.
However, when technicians opened the metal container it was empty except for a 8” x 11” headshot of Russian President Vladimir Putin with a stern look, shirtless, and giving the middle finger.
“They asked for the box and we negotiated a great deal for them. They never said anything about the contents of the box,” a Ukrainian separatist leader told a translator.
“In Russia, I mean Ukraine, we have a saying, ‘Be specific because the devil is in the details.’ If they wanted the stuff in the box they should have said so and we could have negotiated it like civilized people. Any allegations of deceit are unfounded and offensive to us.”
Malaysian Flight 17 was shot down on July 17 by a surface-to-air missile near the Ukrainian border. The investigation into the accident has been hindered by the fact that crash site is in an active war zone.
The Malaysian government, as well as western countries, are outraged by the latest deceit of the Ukrainian separatists.
“Why would we just want the metal frame? This is not what we negotiated for. We want the internal recording device inside the container, not just the box,” said Malaysian Transport Minister Liow Tiong Lai. “Just when you think you can trust those guys, they pull something like this. I’m starting to think they had something to do with this crash.”
“The picture reminded me of a Stone Cold Steve Austin picture I had from 1999.”
The White House gave a statement: “We are perplexed on why the black box, which is integral to the investigation, was empty. The level of trust here is at an all time low. The picture was kind of funny but in poor taste.”
“It’s like they can’t get over the fact that we beat them in ice hockey at the 1980 Winter Olympics.”
