Mitt Romney Shows Off American Flag Tattoo To Campaign Donors

Jan 13, 2015

80379915As he considers yet another run for president in 2016, Mitt Romney revealed today a tattoo of an American flag pin on his chest.

“This time, I'm all in,” Romney told a group of campaign donors in Florida, “and this tattoo proves it. I don't see any other Republican candidates with the flag tattooed on their torso. Maybe they don't love their country as much as I do.”

Romney had flown to Orlando to talk to donors at the Hilton hotel in hopes they would back him instead of fellow Republican candidate Jeb Bush. Romney proceeded to unbutton his dress shirt to reveal the American flag pin on his shaved chest. “I dare any other candidate to beat this,” he declared.

Media photo shoots occurred poolside at the Hilton where he spoke to the media.

“It hurt like Hell, but not as bad as losing the past two elections. This time around, I’m smarter and more symbolic. This tattoo will also relate to the forty-seven percenters who who have tattoos and think they are cool. This proves I love America more than any of the other presidential candidates, combined.”

Ann Romney, wife of last election's runner-up, had been adamant that she didn’t want to see her husband run for president a third time. The tattoo helped changed her mind, she told USA Today.

“Once I saw the tattoo, I knew he was going in one hundred percent and I back him on his journey to be president,” she said. “The flag tattoo will secure his Republican nomination. Now that he doesn't have to fight a black man, the odds are in my husbands favor.”

Romney's children are split about the tattoo. “I think it does show that he’s in it to win it this election,” said Ben. Another child, Tagg said, “Eh, if he was going to get a American flag tattoo on his chest, might as well have made it bigger. Bigger the better.”

Beat Around The Bush

“Good move,” Jeb Bush told The New York Times. “He’s a smart guy and knows how this game is played. But I think I can one-up him, just wait and see.”

With yet another Bush vying for the White House, early donation money will be crucial to the potential candidates. “We all know it’s about raising the most money. The American flag tattoo will make him stand out a little bit but I’m a Bush, damn it. My name alone is worth 10 American flag lapel pin tattoos.”

Jeb would be the third Bush to serve as president, following his father George and his brother George W.  While time will tell on the success of his family's political career, both presidencies changed the world with economic policies and Middle Eastern wars.

“I think my brother George got a tattoo on his butt when he was super drunk back in the eighties,” Jeb noted. “Not sure if it was the American flag.”

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