Girls Scouts in Colorado Selling Marijuana Thin Mints

Feb 26, 2014

TinMintsWeedGirl Scouts in Colorado have begun incorporating marijuana into their cookies in an effort to boost sales.

According to a report in the Rocky Mountain News, Sara Little of Boulder has sold more than $50,000 of marijuana-infused Thin Mint cookies in the last seven days and is on track to do more than $700,000 in sales this season.

“It wasn’t all me,” she tells the paper. “My parents helped out with buying the weed and helping with all the proper paperwork to ensure we weren’t breaking any Colorado laws. I ran the business side though.

“I realized that with marijuana I could create a self-sustaining source of demand. Coca-Cola adds salt to their product to make people thirstier. Why not add cannabis to make people hungrier?

“We established a legal business partnership with a local dispensary. They purchase the cookies at a healthy markup and they’re flying off the shelves. This is just capitalism. What’s wrong with capitalism?”

Highest Honor

Girl Scouts in several states have recently attracted media attention for selling their cookies outside marijuana dispensaries.  Although those girls were simply hoping to cash in on the drug’s ability to boost appetites, Ms. Little  decided to take things a step further.

“These cookies, naturally, are terrible,” she explained. “They taste like cardboard and sand. There is a cult following but I wanted to expand our market to people who enjoy good cookies.

“I was paying 50 bucks for an eighth of weed. So my cookies are much more expensive than regular Girl Scout cookies but competitive with the edible marijuana cookie market.”

Through her ingeniousness, Sara has become perhaps the greatest Girl Scout cookie seller of all time, smashing all previous records.

Although the Girl Scouts of America has in the past been reluctant to endorse the drug culture, the amount of money the new cookies are raising for the organization has apparently changed its tune.

“Marijuana is a perfectly legal substance in Colorado,” explains Nancy Johnson, the organization's CEO. “We encourage our girls to be innovative and entrepreneurial. As long as she violated no laws, I really don’t see what the problem is here.

“Change may be hard, but if we want to be relevant in 100 years we need to accept that marijuana is an increasingly legal part of the cultural landscape. Personally I smoke a bowl two to three times a week, and I can't wait to try these new cookies.

“Before legalization all this cash went to the drug cartels. Now some of that revenue is going to the Girl Scouts of America. I can’t think of a better result. Other states need to follow Colorado’s example and end this ridiculous prohibition now.”

Mainstream snack producers seem to agree with the Girl Scouts’ new position and are beginning to plan for a time when legal marijuana edibles become widely available.

“The kid had it right. Weed-infused products are the future of snacks and the future of our brand,” Nabisco spokesman John Keebler said. “We’re hoping to have marijuana Oreos on the shelves within 18 months.”

  • pragmastist

    The market is finally starting to correct itself, instead of Reaganomics and Socialism we’re finally getting back to some old fashioned common sense.

  • bobe123

    This is just so rich. The Onion mover over as you are now longer relevant.

  • Srinivat Purnavanthan

    As it in India many sub stances are legal soon to be. The marijuana and the hashish have on the right to be good. And girlscouts know information on this.

  • John Burnett

    Just so you people know what damage sites like the lemon and the currant do with their satires (Actually, their lies), these stories get spread on facebook as if they are fact, and do damage to causes that are important to people (such as the decriminalization of marijuana). One important case was that a MD police officer actually mentioned that 37 people died from marijuana while testifying, not realizing that it was a false story made up by the currant. Thank God someone corrected him or else the lies of this page could have actually effected MD law. Now how many people saw this story and other stories on MJ, believed them, turning them even more against it?This is not what we need. For the record, I have never touched weed in my life but realize the awfulness of making it illegal. My main point is these parody sites should be clearly labeled under the title of every story that it is parody, otherwise these pages sew confusion, and typically make fools of the people that fall for the ads (most typically it is liberals that fall for the political lies spread here, so again, they’re not doing themselves any favors. To a lot of people this is just funny funny stuff (har har) but the crap spread here has serious implications. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maryland-police-chief-apologizes-37-people-died-pot-overdoses-day-article-1.1702377

  • Jesus H. Goldberg

    Awww. Just goes to show how utterly stupid some Americans (yes, you, right up there on the list) are. If you seriously need more information than the obvious “our stories are fake” in the disclaimer, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Or breathe unsupervised. Or comment.

  • John Burnett

    I always see through the parody stories immediately as fake, but as a matter of fact, I tend to be much more skeptical of anything posted on facebook now as being fake because of your site (if that makes me stupid, that is your opinion). That said, millions of people fell for that and are allowed to breathe, and vote, and spread these stories as real on facebook: All you need is a bigger disclaimer right under the headline to staunch this bullshit.
    http://blog.sfgate.com/smellthetruth/2014/01/06/marijuana-overdose-hoax-claiming-37-dead-in-colorado-fools-millions/

  • Guest

    “My site”? Boy, you ARE dense, huh? It needs a bigger disclaimer? Pffffft! It needs no such thing. And people who get their news (and, sadly, their education) from facebook are the same morons who click on “Free iPad, for serious!” adds, and don’t deserve any better.

  • Jesus H. Goldberg

    Boy, you ARE rather dense. “My site”? I haven’t even told you about my site. How the heII do you figure this is my site? They need a bigger disclaimer? Pffffft! They don’t need anything of the sort. People stupid enough to be on facebook, getting their news (and sadly, education) from facebook are the same kind of morons that click on “Free iPad, for serious!!!” adds. In other words, idiots that don’t deserve any better. If you can’t tell real news (as far stretched as that idea might be) from humorous stories on a satirical website, please - step off the planet!

  • http://allandelacruz.com Xacto01

    Now, thats a funny twist.

  • Jesus H. Goldberg

    Considering Diarrhea, Cholera, AIDS, Hepatitis A, Typhoid and starving children are also very common in India, I suggest you just shut up.

  • Future reedie

    Who the fuck asked you, asshole? Ni

  • Freckles

    I don’t believe it. Girl Scout Cookies are baked in only TWO different bakeries/factories. This is such bull.

  • Jerry Martinez

    forget the girl scouts… leave them be and start up your own shop that will bring in the big bucks

  • brokowski

    you’re just an angry marijuana addict

  • Rachel Mandell VanDemark

    This web site is satire, like The Onion. Unfortunately, satire can be viewed as fact by many people.

  • Dumbass

    I better get myself some of these cookies.

  • Johnny Wilson

    It’s not the websites responsibility to dumb down things for the average American. It’s the average Americans responsibility to smarten up.

  • captain_pudding

    You’re on a comedy website, of course it’s not true, they’ve never once published a serious article.

  • captain_pudding

    Is it hard, living in a world without humour?

  • melanie

    OK you know what? Its one thing to set up a cookie booth in front of a cannabis store, which apparently a few girls have done in states where its legal. Still on the fence about that one just because I don’t want people to get the wrong impression. But tampering with the cookie recipe and adding cannabis to it is just wrong. This is a GIRL LED business. Don’t mess with a timeless tradition. We have a good product and a good name. Why jeopardize that? I am all for legalization. But for heavens sake, go buy yourself a brownie and leave the Girl Scout cookies alone.

  • Naomi

    “Marijuana is a perfectly legal substance in Colorado” That’s not true…, it is still illegal under Federal Law…

  • Jesus H. Goldberg

    People with more education than you.

  • unclesamonmars

    Are you cereal?

  • unclesamonmars

    You made you stupid and no one else. You have a conservative ax to grind but don’t have the stones to admit it.

  • unclesamonmars

    What is Ni? You were half way to typing your I.Q. and forgot how to spell nine?

  • unclesamonmars

    Same as my neighbor that believes all this crap is real and also turns off his laptop with the power button. Until I told him, he didn’t even know about shutting it down through the OS.

  • soulo1

    ^^^^^^^^^^This person is a racist impostor using my likeness to post things all over the web^^^^^^^^

  • soulo1

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^This person is a racist impostor using my likeness to post things all over the web^^^^^^^^

  • powerbase

    Whats up with the five minute End Time News ad on your Opeth upload? How in the world did you ever get such good taste in music? I just wonder what your taste is in Girl Scout Cookies. Of course he is conservative. He has never been high his whole life. What could he know?

  • powerbase

    You mean without weed?

  • powerbase

    Could you send me some information when I move to Colorado? Just kidding. Actually not but since I posted this, it ain’t going to happen.

  • powerbase

    You mean like printing currency on hemp?

  • captain_pudding

    No, humour is a real word, look it up.

  • powerbase

    I looked it up and you know what I failed to see the humour in it.

  • DV8

    Maybe if your articles were actually funny in any way people would be able to tell they are satire. There is a big difference between this site and the Onion. See, first you start with a funny premise like Girl Scouts selling Pot brownies for example. The key is to then not suck completely at step two, having a sense of humor and write an article with some jokes. This entire site is garbage and will exactly be quoted by the ignorant as a legitimate information source. Did someone tell you that you’re funny or do you just seem funny to yourself in your own head somehow?

  • Suzy

    Oh my gosh..marihuana doesn’t help people, I’ve personally seen what it does in families..funny how all the angry ones are the users? Strange that, when it’s supposed to have the opposite effect! Lol

  • kristiekburchfield

    like
    Jacqueline implied I’m taken by surprise that a mom can earn $8130 in 1 month
    on the computer . see post F­i­s­c­a­l­p­o­s­t­.­C­O­M­

  • doobeedoo

    Exactly…the Rocky Mountain News is a defunct newspaper and has been for years.

  • John Burnett

    Actually I am fully for the complete legalization of marijuana though I am not stupid enough to have ever smoked the stuff. I am definitely neither democrat or republican. Both parties are both highly inept and highly corrupt.

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