Republicans Promise ‘Zero Cooperation’ With Obama

Nov 07, 2012

downloadSpeaking to an assemblage of reporters on Capitol Hill this morning, Republican Congressional leaders Eric Cantor, John Boehner, and Mitch McConnell promised the nation they will under no circumstances cooperate with the newly reelected President Obama.

Boehner, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, pledged to a rabidly anti-Obama public that his party will do everything it can to sabotage the president's second-term agenda:

"Mitch, Eric and I would like to assure the American people that we plan on offering zero cooperation to the newly elected president."

"His margin of victory last night, frankly, wasn't all that impressive. And we've heard the American people loud and clear. They don't want this man to succeed, and neither do we."

Working...For Themselves

The hard line taken by Congressional Republicans comes as a surprise to many observers, who expected the party to cooperate more with Obama in his second term since he cannot stand again in 2016.

Eric Cantor, majority leader of the House, dismissed this idea:

"Some deadenders will say that our party has a duty to compromise with the president. That our country faces deep and growing challenges that require bipartisan solutions. That we should put aside our petty differences for the sake of the nation."

"I want every American watching today to know that we will not go down that path. If America wanted something to get done in Washington, America should have voted for Mitt Romney."

"The next four years in Congress are going to be about one thing: electing a Republican president in 2016. That's our promise to the American people, and its a sacred vow we intend to keep."

The Republican congressional leadership has been extensively criticized for their failures to enact meaningful reforms during Obama's first term. Congress's approval rating consistently polled below 15% during that period.

  • Mrs.Washington

    You all are SAD individuals. You think your ignorance to the president is going to help American Citizens? No it isn’t while you are trying to hurt him you are hurting all Americans. Grow Up! Do what is right to help everyone! Save your Petty Tit For Tat Games for outside of the White House and Government issues!

  • cdarb

    You do realize this is satire, right?

  • Odell Sturtevant

    While, the Daily Currant is satirical, with some “articles” made from whole cloth, I’m not seeing it in this piece. While, the quotes are fabricated, they’ve pretty much paraphrased them correctly. In fact, the Republican News Machine (FOX) has been spinning like a centrifuge to explain their loss and Karl Rove’s conclusion is that Democrats engaged in “Voter Suppression”. When their reality is that weird/funny/FUBAR what the hell are satirist supposed to do?!?

  • Zephtragic

    And you do realize that’s the point of satire right? Satire is intended to make fun and bring to light things that the satirist thinks are wrong and to create change And discussion.