As I write this, the United States is facing the greatest foreign crisis in our entire history: a showdown between pro-America Ukraine and Vladimir Putin’s pro-evil Russia.

It’s a greater crisis than Syria, Libya, Iran, North Korea, Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Pakistan, China, Georgia, Somalia, Burma, Venezuela, Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Palestine. Well, maybe not all those places, but pretty damn close.... Read More →

This week you may have heard the controversy about me and how I employ a ghostwriter to write all my columns and books, which I don’t bother to read before print.

It’s true. My newspaper and online columns were written by an employee, Tim Graham, while I took all the credit and most of the money. Tim wrote all my columns on how Ellen DeGeneres, Glee, Stephen Colbert and Family Guy are destroying America.... Read More →

If you're a white woman thinking about having a baby, do yourself and the world a favor - don't.

Studies have consistently shown that women of European descent are the worst mothers. They endlessly coddle their children and are incapable of setting the boundaries kids need to thrive.... Read More →

Happy holidays, everyone!

Oops, we meant Merry Christmas. We know how touchy you Christians are about that, thanks to us.

As two of the world's richest men, Christmas is our favorite time of year -- and our most profitable. There is nothing we love more than people buying stuff, especially stuff they don't really need or want and can hardly afford. It's what Christmas is all about.... Read More →