Following news of a pro-bailout victory in Greek national elections yesterday, a group of ordinary residents in the impoverished Sudanese region of Darfur have accelerated their efforts to raise emergency aid money for the Greek people.
Denizens of the war-torn region have been emotionally devastated by the suffering unleashed by Greece's sovereign debt crisis and have built a sophisticated humanitarian effort to assist the Greeks in their time of need. ... Read More →
In a passionate speech to a convention of conservative Tea Party activists, former U.S. Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has called on President Obama to invade the Australian state of Queensland to preemptively deter what she described as "the gathering threat" of Queen Elizabeth II's imperial ambitions.
Always vigilant about external threats to American power, the 48-year-old former Alaskan governor and Fox News contributor explained to the audience that she first became suspicious of the British Empire during a visit to Canada where she encountered banknotes featuring images of the British Monarch.
Palin later encountered similar images on a trip to the Australian outback with her family.... Read More →
Today the U.S. state of Arizona continued its bizarre assault on women's reproductive health by passing into law a ban on women menstruating before they are "properly married".
The bill - known as SB 11235 - will make menstruation a crime punishible by up to 1 year in prison unless done with a permit signed by the woman's husband.
The goal of the new law is to reduce out-of -wedlock births and cut down on what one Republican male lawmaker deemed "harlotry".
... Read More →
Donald Trump, the millionaire son of a millionaire real estate investor, has announced today the development of 'Obamaland' - a $200 million hotel / casino complex near the site of what Trump insists is U.S. president Barack Obama's place of birth in Kenya.
The glitzy resort on the Lake Victoria shore is aimed both at serving Kenya's's burgoning middle class, and attracting international tourists interested in seeing Obama's supposed birth site in the East African country. ... Read More →
Mitt Romney - the dendrophile U.S. Presidental candidate from the state of Michigan - abruptly halted a campaign stop today in the neighboring state of Ohio due to his intense discomfort with the height of that state's trees.
Romney was at a campaign rally in Mill Stream Run Park in Strongsville Thursday when half way into his stump speech he began to become visibly uncomfortable as he stared into the forest beyond the crowd.
Deep into a stinging critique of Barack Obama and his "failure to lead on the economy", Romney paused unexpectedly for about fifteen seconds as he scanned the forest's horizon like a Roman sentry looking for Visigoth trebuchets before commenting to a puzzled crowd:... Read More →
Confusion reigned across the globe today as North Korea announced that it had yesterday successively tested a new orbital heavy lift launch vehicle by launching a massive payload of 50,000 kilograms of rice into low-earth orbit.
The diplomatically and economically isolated Stalinist dictatorship - officially known as the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK)- revealed the May 21 launch on state television and boasted that its Juche I rocket will herald "a new era in the struggle against American imperialism of the heavens"... Read More →
In a move rife with symbolism newly elected French president François Hollande has hired eight underprivileged youths from one of France's poorest neighborhoods to help clean up the Elysee presidential palace recently vacated by his predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy.
The ad-hoc cleaning crew from the troubled Paris suburb of Clichy-Sous-Bois will spend two months powerwashing the palace's walls, floors, and corridors with Karcher brand electric high-pressure water cleaners to remove unsightly levels of mold, rust, and calcified decay which had built up during the Sarkozy presidency. ... Read More →
Amidst the furor of a potential referendum on Scottish independence, an investigation by The Daily Currant can reveal that the English region of Cornwall left the United Kingdom in 2004 and has been an indepdnent country now for nearly 6 years.
The revelation has sparked curiosity amongst the British public - many of whom had never known the former Celctic kingdom which was incorprated into England in the 11th century had ever been part of the U.K. at all. ... Read More →
Following U.S. President Obama's statement yesterday in favor of the right for American gays to marry, Maite Nkoana-Mashabane - South Africa's Minister of Internatinoal Affairs and Cooperation - issued a statement applauding the U.S. on "moving towards the South African example of human rights for all."
The statement also expressed that although the South African government was still skeptical that marriage equality will be enacted in all 50 states anytime soon, it welcomed Obama's gesture as a "move in a positive direction."... Read More →
Yesterday the U.S. state of North Carolina overwhelmingly passed a referendum which extended that state's already existent ban on gay marriage into the its constitution - making it the 30th state in America to do so.
Today the Alliance of North Carolina Divorce Attorneys (ANCDA) announced that it will be accepting donations for an emergency relief fund designed to cushion the financial impact of the measure - known as Amendment One - on its members and their families.... Read More →
British Prime Minister David Cameron will shortly unveil a plan to boost the U.K government's sagging finances in which India and other members of the Commonwealth of Nations would be asked to pay for the use of the English language, the Daily Currant can reveal.
The plan comes amid the news that the U.K. economy has plunged back into recession and highlights the growing economic gap between Britain - which once dominated the world economy for centuries - and its far more prosperous former colonies. ... Read More →
The People's Republic of China announced today that is has arrested a young blogger for "anti-revolution" and "dissident" activities. Zhū Yǔnwén (朱允炆), a 12 year old from outside Beijing, is accused of inciding sympathies for the Taiwanese and American governments though his posts on Twitter-like microblogging site Weibo and the social networking site Ren-Ren.... Read More →
