An active member of Al-Qaeda has been elected to a California city council in an election that saw a record low voter turnout.
Sidi Baba “Bob” Al-Booey, who campaigned under the slogan “Call me Bob” for an open city council seat in Agrestic in Los Angeles County with a tough-on-crime, family values platform that includes enacting Sharia law, received 54 percent. Only 21.5 percent of registered voters in the suburb of 5,300 voted in the election, keeping in line with low voter turnout in other communities throughout the region.
Booey, who manages a county airfield, credited his victory to the support of his family and members of his terrorist cell, low-information voters, and senior citizens who couldn’t read or understand their ballots but still voted.
“I’m not surprised I won, really,” he said. “I’m a political outsider, and people really responded to my folksy ‘Call me Bob’ slogan. I never hid the fact I want to kill President Barack Obama, which really seemed to help. Even better, the young, black people and Latinos, and single women in Agrestic didn’t even bother to vote, which always benefits us conservatives.”
“Quite frankly,” he added, “most voters I spoke to just wanted me to promise I wouldn’t raise taxes.”
Although local newspapers and Agrestic’s small Muslim community, citing Booey’s fundamentalist views, encouraged voters to elect anyone but him, they had little influence with residents such as plumber Hank Schrader.
“Yeah, I heard the Los Angeles Times said Bob was an extremist and should be in prison instead of on the city council,” he said. “But the Times is a liberal rag anyway, so I always vote the opposite of whatever they say.”
Political Sheikh-up
Instead of bombing Agrestic City Hall as he originally planned, Booey said he will work with the government to enact change.
“I bring fresh ideas to the city council, which is in need of new leadership,” Booey said. “So my first priority will be to strip all power from the women on the council, including our woman mayor, and force them to wear full veils and to only vote when they have their husbands’ permission.
“I would also like to set up sister city relationships with Riyadh, Karachi and Khartoum. I have many colleagues in those cities, and they would benefit from a safe home base here in America.
“I also plan to work closely with the Agrestic Police Department in setting up Sharia law, which will include banning all music and drugs, forbidding adultery and sodomy, and cutting off the hands of criminals. I think it will make Agrestic safer and bring down crime in the area.”
