Global warming and climate change are harming God’s creations and preventing the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, a study released this week has found.
The study, authored by respected Christian non-scientists at Liberty and Bob Jones universities, found that while God still controls the weather, humans are interfering with his work and causing global warming and climate change through sinful, destructive activities. In addition, the study found humans are also committing a sin by ignoring the deadly effects.
“The Bible states, ‘The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters,’ ” the study said. “ 'All things were created by him and for him.’ So it’s clear God would be really pissed off if we destroyed His property. After all, He created the world in six days, and He is technically renting it out to us. We know He evicted His previous tenants, the dinosaurs, as soon as humans were created.”
The study also found it will be impossible for Jesus Christ to return if nothing is done to mitigate human-induced climate change.
“Jesus will have a tough time coming back to judge the living and dead if half the Earth is underwater and people are too busy dying from starvation and conflict over limited resources to pay attention to him,” the study said. “Even Israel will be flooded and experience hotter temperatures, and guys like Jesus tend to complain about the weather.”
Preach to the choir
Since the release of the study, conservative religious groups -- who have traditionally opposed the science behind climate change studies -- are demanding immediate action.
“This study should convince those who deny climate change, as it's obvious God is providing lots of hints that it is for real,” said Nedward Flanders, president of the National Conference of Evangelical Christians. “It’s offensive to me when skeptics say belief in climate change is like a religion, as if religion and belief are bad things.”
Congressional Republicans, who speak for every Christian in America, announced today they will work to pass legislation aimed at curbing global warming.
“As usual, the Republican Party will take the lead and do whatever it takes to reverse and correct these damaging trends caused by global climate change,” Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe, the incoming Senate Science Committee chairman, said in a statement. “I call on President Barack Obama to quit wasting time and hurry up and sign the Kyoto Protocol.”
Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, a potential presidential candidate in 2016 and climate change denier, said he has always supported a global effort to reduce the use of fossil fuels and pollutants and promote environmentally friendly alternatives.
“I am deeply concerned about the effects of global climate change that could take place between now and 2024,” Cruz said in a statement. “Oh yeah, and about our children’s future. I’m also concerned about that.”
