Beginning in the fall of 2015, the state of Texas will no longer teach geography as a part of its public school curriculum.
The money saved from teaching geography will go to new initiatives to teach youngsters how to hunt and properly use firearms.
Gov. Rick Perry championed the idea, telling The Dallas Star, “Do kids really need to know anything outside of Texas? Cause I sure don’t. We have everything you need right here in God’s state.
“Every Texan should know how to use a firearm and be able to shoot their own food. In this crazy world, you never know what may happen. Terrorists could take out our electric lines, the zombies could invade; you just never know.
“Money spent to teach about surviving the impending apocalypse is more important than where Boston is on a map.”
The state’s teachers’ union responded in a statement, saying, “Kids hated memorizing state capitals. So less of a headache for us. It is a bit sad that geography funding got cut but we have seen plenty of other subjects cut over the years so we are pretty much use to it by now.”
Where In The World Is Carmen San Somewhere
Parents of school-aged children seemed to have mixed reactions to the fact that their children will not learn about anything outside of Texas. Run range assistant manager Tom Youngton of Dallas said, “Damn right I don’t want the school filling my child’s head with foreign places and culture. It’s a liberal trick to make them anti-war and gay.
“Why would you ever want to leave Texas? Except for war, obviously. Then it’s okay to defend our freedom, but do you need to know on a map where the war is? Your job is to kill the enemy, whatever sinful place that may be.”
Many in the more liberal city of Austin are outraged by the elimination of geography.
Waitress Susie Williams said, “How dare they take geography away from our children. They must learn about the world in order to understand, economics, foreign policy, and even sports. How will they even know where our rival football teams are from?
“It makes us look like a bunch of rednecks, which we aren’t, or not all of us. Some of us even have passports.”
