New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has contracted the measles virus during his team's Super Bowl celebration trip to Disneyland.
According to local reports, Brady started to have a slight fever and began to show dots on his arms shortly after arriving at Disneyland. The Super Bowl MVP missed the celebration to go home to his Beverly Hills mansion to sleep.
The incident comes a week after the virus broke out among visitors to the fabled theme park. Over 40 people tested positive for the disease, in an outbreak blamed on parents who refused to vaccinate their children because of unsubstantiated safety fears.
Although previous outbreaks have failed to end the debate over vaccination, Brady's high-profile status may finally be an impetus for change.
“I feel so stupid,” says Molly Roper, a prominent Orange County anti-vaccination activist. “I don't mind killing a few kids by not vaccinating my own. But Tom Brady? I never thought this could affect someone who was, like, actually important.
“I masturbate to Tom at least twice a week after yoga practice. To think that I put his life in danger. It's just so upsetting. I'm going straight to the doctor to vaccinate my kids.”
Anti-vaccination activists aren't the only ones apologizing over the incident. ESPN, which is owned by Disney, issued an on-air statement today lamenting its corporate parent's role in the affair.
“On behalf of the entire Disney family we would like to sincerely apologize for any pain and suffering we may have caused Tom Brady and the Brady family,” said Linda Cohn on Sportscenter. “Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time, and we'd like to see him healthy for next season.
“The greatest quarterback of all time deserves better than measles. Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time, and we wish him a speedy recovery. After all, he is the greatest quarterback of all time.”
Patriots' fans have asked why Brady was even allowed to travel to Disneyland, given the recent outbreak. In a press conference in Foxboro this morning, Patriots coach Bill Belichick addressed these concerns.
“You’d have to ask Tom about the virus,” he told reporters. “I have nothing to do with it. He likes his viruses a certain way. We celebrated within the rules of Disneyland.
“Going from the cold New England winter to warm Southern California can sometimes alter your immune system and thus making a person more vulnerable to the virus. I’m sure a doctor can tell you more.”
Other Patriots players attended the celebration in their honor, but no other reports of illness were reported. Brady is expected to make a full recovery.
