Politics

New Jersey Bans Halloween Trick-Or-Treating Over Ebola Fears

Oct 28, 2014

NJ Gov Christie Campaigns For CA Republican Gubernatorial Candidate WhitmanGovernor Chris Christie has cancelled trick-or-treating in the state of New Jersey  this year out of fear of the Ebola virus.

According to local reports, this so-called “Halloween Quarantine” will be in effect Oct. 31  from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Children who violate the curfew orders will be arrested and their parents will face finds of up to $1,000.

“It would be silly for us to pretend Ebola is not a huge threat to New Jerseyans. We are smarter than that; hence, the Halloween Quarantine,” Christie told the New York Times. “This has been a very hard decision. Trust me, the holiday when strangers hand you candy for free is near and dear to my heart.

“But I'm running for president in 2016, and I need to put political distance between myself and Barack Obama in order to win over Republican primary voters. Does this make medical sense? No. Does this unfairly punish children? Yes. But let's look at what's really important here: my political career.”

Halloween Patrols will reportedly monitor neighborhoods to ensure kids stay inside. Patrol Officer Pete Sakes told the Jersey Times, “We will arrest any kid on the street begging for candy. Parents will be fined for every brat we catch. We'll be holding the kids at local precincts until parents show up with the cash. We now also accept Bitcoin.”

The Kids Aren't Alright

Christie is already under fire for his strict Ebola quarantine policy, which forces medical workers returning from treating Ebola patients in Africa to be locked away for 21 days upon their return. Most medical experts say the policy is counterproductive because it discourages doctors from traveling to Africa to fight the disease at its source.

The Obama White House has called on Christie to reverse his stance, a move the governor has so far resisted. Kaci Hicox, a nurse who has been quarantined against her will, has described New Jersey's stance as a "knee-jerk reaction by politicians.”

The “Halloween Quarantine” has every appearance of being a similar reaction. Although the Ebola virus only spreads though close bodily contact, the state somehow concluded that having kids go door to door posed a health risk of spreading the deadly ebola virus.

Upon hearing the news, protests immediately broke out  to oppose the governor's anti-trick-or-treat Halloween Quarantine. A rally in West Orange, N.J., claimed over 1,000 children attended to oppose Christie.

Reporters at the event said one kid yelled “He’s the Grinch of Halloween!” Another kid yelled, “He wants all the candy for himself!”

Chants broke out of “Ebola sucks, candy rocks” and “We want treats, not your smelly feet.”

Mary Young told the NJ Patch, “I had to explain to my kids that the government won’t let us celebrate Halloween. The youngest asked if it was because of the devil. I told him no, it’s because of politics. Jimmy is only 6 and has learned to hate politics.”

The Young family will instead travel to their relatives in Pennsylvania to conduct the families trick or treating. “I can’t believe we have to travel to a different state to have the kids get some candy. I know people drive to different states to buy alcohol on Sundays but for candy? This is America.”

The family will return home Sunday when they plan on trick-or-treating, after the quarantine is lifted. “What’s Governor Christie going to do next? Make every day Halloween?”

In a press conference, Christie responded to concerns with his trademark bluntness: “Look, I have the right to quarantine anyone I want at any time I want. The kids can trick or treat next year. That’s if Ebola doesn’t take them out first.”

  • RockyMtn1776

    The REAL truth is, Governor Krispy Kreme wants all the goodies for himself !

  • Kassandra Cruz

    If he thinks decisions such as these are going to get him elected in 2016, he may want to reconsider….

  • Kassandra Cruz

    I wish there was a way for me to thumbs up your comment!

  • http://laceyreporter.com/ Charlie Johnson

    Not surprising one bit! Christie is the modern day Machiavelli.

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  • Bill Povse

    This is a joke web site that creates stuff like this just to see how many people will actually believe it. Looks like a lot of people are falling for it.

  • makeupdiva

    DUMB - SATTIRE SITE - RIDICULOUS COMMENT - GUESS THE NURSE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SPREAD EBOLA BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ENOUGH TO QUARANTINE HERSELF - DUMB B*TCH

  • Lady J

    Really? Are the casinos in Atlantic City closed? Every parent should take their kid to the Governor’s Mansion the day before this ban and demand he hand over his candy stash to them. Should be plenty to go around.

  • karen fuentes

    Great, cancel trick or treating from NJ but what is going to stop all the young adults from partying in NY or kids from going trick or treating in NY. Instead of protecting the citizens of NJ they are being pushed towards the danger of Ebola. People always go for what is prohibited history has taught us that prohibition is not the way to go. Instead why not inform citizens of the danger and where NJ stands on the danger scale, so they may make their own decisions. We live in the country of the free and the brave yet our rights are being trampled on. Yet this man wants to run for President whose to say he wouldn’t think twice about quarantining the nation if another incident occurs in the future.

  • Barbara Peters

    I think its just hilarious and unbelievable how gullible people are.
    Just because you read something online automatically means its true. Do
    people actually believe this is real? LOL LOL LOL grow a brain,
    people….

  • Guest

    Wow. So many readers seem to have no idea that this website is completely satirical.

  • DUH

    This is a joke website Karen Fuentes. It’s not actual news but a satirical article. Ebola isn’t airborne but the flu is.

  • Mick Bodine

    Reading below….man there are some dumb people in the world…

  • http://www.facebook.com/beautifulseeasia Beautiful SeeAsia

    rolling on the god damn floor hahahaha

  • http://www.realfakefriends.com/ whatever

    I bet she’s smart enough to know how to turn off the caps lock key.

  • BabyJane

    Is there something we don’t know about Ebola? I thought is was only transmittable via fluids from a person exhibiting symptoms, or from a person’s body who has died of the disease. Unless someone with Ebola answers the door and hands over candy covered in Ebola infected fluids, I am not sure how Halloween would increase the spread of the virus.

  • Guest

    For those of you who still want to let your little ones have Halloween, make it a family event and let your children Trick or Treat only with your own inside houses with parental supervision. It simply doesn’t make sense to risk your children’s exposure to strangers who might be infected and might not even know it yet.

  • Mimi - CA

    Can’t fix stupid, Bill.

  • Mimi - CA

    I know people are so freaking gullible.

  • Mimi - CA

    She is a lying selfish drama queen. Have you heard about her ties to the CDC? She removed her LinkedIn account over the weekend. Also attended dinner at the White House. There is much more to her story then what is being told.

  • Mimi - CA

    I know I keep smh the comments are still coming in of stupid gullible people. Even after others have posted it is fake.

  • Mimi - CA

    OMG

  • Mimi - CA

    gullible

  • Lady J

    My satirical humor obviously misunderstood. NP TY

  • Lorraine Easterling

    This is a joke. Not true

  • Guest

    CHRISTIE IS AN EFFIN MORON!!!!!

  • Joe Jones

    Right, after all, someone voted for him.

  • Joe Jones

    This can’t be something Christie actually said. He didn’t refer to anyone as “stupid” or “moron.”

  • Roy

    Nothing like rightwingnut conspiracy theories. Dumb as a box of rocks.

  • Bobbloggerstein

    I actually believed it for a minute. Gov. Cristy would try something like this.

  • Jerry Hampton Sr.

    Funny thing is, she went to her home town in Maine and she is quarantined there.

  • SecularHumanist199

    People are believing this because it sounds like something he would do.

  • holoh

    Ummm, this is a satire site. If you think believing stupid things like that headline are going to get you anything other than continuing to be gullible in 2016, you may want to reconsider….

  • holoh

    Wow, you are gullible and dumb!

  • holoh

    No, not really. But, you are really gullible. Wanna fuck?

  • holoh

    Hahahhahahaha!!!! Now who is the “EFFIN MORON”! This is a satire!

  • holoh

    It’s transmitted via the internet, but only if you are extremely gullible.

  • tallron

    The really ignorant parasites voted for Obama instead.

  • tallron

    Not dumb enough to vote for Oblameo.

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  • Nathan51

    Only fixable with a sledge hammer up side the head!

  • Nathan51

    That takes a special class of dumb!

  • Nathan51

    Hello!!! You do realize this is a spoof site right? Right? Knock, knock, knock: anybody home?

  • BabyJane

    Um…yeah, I do 😉 have a nice day!