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Media

Michael Moore Signs $10 Million Deal for Documentary on Socialism

 

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66ème Festival de Venise (Mostra)Filmmaker Michael Moore signed a $10 million contract today to write, direct, and produce a documentary on the history of socialism.

The upcoming project from Annapurna Pictures will be filmed in Germany, Russia, Cuba, China and the United States and will argue that only a strict interpretation of Marxism can save the world from "global capitalist destruction."... Read More →

CNN Head Suggests Covering More News for Ratings

 

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98557606.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-largeAfter CNN drew its highest ratings in decades during its coverage of the Boston Marathon terrorist attacks, the network’s new president is saying a different approach to covering the news might bring in more viewers.

President Jeff Zucker cited CNN’s high ratings as evidence that viewers tune in when the network is covering important breaking news, according to a recent memo he sent to network executives and newsroom editors, which was leaked to the news media.... Read More →

Alex Jones Claims ‘Looney Toons’ Predicted Boston Bombings

 

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Screen-Shot-2012-12-14-at-7.22.40-PM-1280x900Outspoken radio host Alex Jones has claimed two “Looney Tunes” characters predicted the Boston Marathon attacks as part of a wider false flag operation involving the U.S. government and cartoons.

Jones, who is best known for fostering conspiracy theories on his national radio show and website, attracted controversy last week for suggesting two out-of-context clips from a recent episode of “Family Guy” had predicted the Boston Marathon bombings.... Read More →

Reddit Identifies 86-Year-Old Grandmother As Terrorist

 

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Marilyn-Hagerty_2165801bUsers of the social news site Reddit are drawing criticism this morning for incorrectly identifying an 86-year-old grandmother from North Dakota as a "person of interest" in the Boston Marathon bombing.

Marilyn Hagerty of Grand Forks has reportedly gone into hiding to protect herself from media scrutiny following accusations on Reddit that she ate dinner with the two bombing suspects at a Boston-area Olive Garden on the night of the incident.... Read More →

Fox News Claims Adam Lanza Was a Democrat

 

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ingrahmFox News claimed today that Newtown mass murderer Adam Lanza "must have been a Democrat."

During a segment of America Live this afternoon, Fox News contributor Laura Ingraham and host Megyn Kelly said that new evidence released yesterday about Lanza's lifestyle, personality, and hobbies showed "clear indications of liberalism."... Read More →

CNN Runs Segment Praising Jerry Sandusky

 

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1363640049454.cached CNN aired a startling segment today praising convicted child rapist Jerry Sandusky and lamenting his harsh prison sentence.

The bizarre exchange on Candy Crowley's State of the Union comes just days after the network hosted a similar conversation many accused of sympathizing with the Steubenville, Ohio, rapists.... Read More →

Australian Parliament Adopts ‘Porno Music / Comment Time’

 

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Today the Australian Parliament announced a new youth outreach program designed to bridge the generational divide between MPs and their under-25 constituents.

In the press conference in Canberra, Steven Conroy, Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy,  introduced a series of Youtube videos which feature MPs reading comments from their constituents to an audio track typically associated with pornographic films.... Read More →

Glenn Beck Introduces Gold-Plated Muslim Detector

 

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Glenn Beck - the conservative American talk show host and former alcoholic morning radio clown - has introduced a new product which promises to revolutionize the U.S. home Muslim detection market.

For the low, low price of only 4 payments of $199 Glenn Beck fans can now buy their own personal gold-plated Muslim detector, which Beck describes as "the ultimate jihad-aversion device for freedom-loving, god-fearing Americans."... Read More →

Natalie Tran Lost in Australian Outback

 

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Natalie Tran Engaged Lost outbackNatalie Tran, Australia's leading online comedienne, has been lost in the Australian outback for two months and has formally requested a rescue, the Daily Currant can reveal.

Australian authorities are desperatly trying to locate Tran, aged 25, who disappeared in early April just south of King's Canyon during an Alice Springs to Adelaide adventure tour.

Sources say she was separated from her tour group after following a "funny-looking" wallaby behind a bush.... Read More →

Natalie Tran Held For Being Too Funny on Airplane

 

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Natalie Tran - Australia's leading online comedienne - has been detained at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) following an incident aboard a Sydney to Los Angeles flight, The Daily Currant can reveal.

Sources say the perpetually salutary Tran was mobbed by adoring fans while flying aboard a Quantas A380 to the United States. Two people were reported to have sustained minor injuries during the incident and the distruption was significant enough to trigger the capitain's intervention.

Upon landing Tran was taken for questioning by U.S. oficials. Although cleared of all wrongdoing, she has been detained due to her citizenship status until her return to Oz can be arranged. ... Read More →

Rupert Murdoch Down to Three Vials of Panda Blood a Day

 

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Billionaire media mogul Rupert Murdoch - the founder and chairman of News Corporation (NWS) - is reducing the amount of panda blood he has injected into his heart each day, The Daily Currant can reveal.

The Australian-born 81 year old has consumed raw vials of baby panda blood each day for the past ten years in an effort to stave off death and avoid a messy secession fight among his family for control of his media empire.

There is no scientific evidence that the treatment works, and it entails capturing and eventually killing scores of baby great pandas - one of the most notable endangered species in the world.... Read More →

Natalie Tran Fingered in Australia Internet Outage

 

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Australia's national telecommunications operator Telstra has announced that broadband speeds in Oz will slow to a trickle in the coming days due to the overloading of one of its undersea cables linking the island nation to North America.

The Telstra Endeavour submarine cable - which connects Australian computers to the wider Internet though the U.S. state of Hawaii - is dangerously overcapacity due almost entirely to Americans attempting to view videos of Australia's vlogette fatale: Natalie Tran. ... Read More →

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