John McCain Calls for Invading Belgium

Jul 02, 2014

John McCain Joins Sharron Angle At Get Out The Vote Rally In Las VegasArizona Sen. John McCain has called for the bombing and invasion of Belgium in retaliation for its 2-1 defeat of the United States at the World Cup.

“Belgium is a rogue state whose outrageous behavior at the World Cup was a show of aggression toward the United States, for which President Obama must respond immediately with military force,” McCain told Fox News this morning. “In fact, I believe that anything less than a swift invasion and regime change in Belgium would show weakness to our enemies.

“The time for diplomacy has passed. We owe it to our dedicated soccer players, who sacrificed too much while Obama showed poor leadership and let the game end before we could win.”

TinTin Boom Boom

McCain, an outspoken Republican war hawk who frequently calls for military action against foreign countries for any reason, outlined his plan for the invasion and takeover of Belgium, with the United States military leading the charge.

“Once we get the United Nations to enforce a no-fly zone over Belgium, we would begin a series of airstrikes on major military targets and cities, which should be a good start,” McCain said. “Belgium is about the size of Maryland, so I don’t foresee a full-scale invasion taking longer than a few days -- two, three tops.”

McCain said he and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, a close McCain BFF, have been in contact with Dutch-speaking separatists in Belgium’s Flanders region who are trying to break from the poorer south.

“We reached out to the Flemish freedom fighters of Belgium to offer U.S. support for their independence, and they were very open to the idea,” McCain said. “So we told them to have their government ready to go as soon as we hand power back to them.”

League change

McCain also suggested the U.S. should order FIFA, the Switzerland-based organization that oversees the World Cup, to step aside and hand over the World Cup to Major League Soccer, which oversees professional soccer in the United States and Canada.

“I’ve never trusted the Swiss,” he said, “and frankly, FIFA is a liability, while Major League Soccer has repeatedly demonstrated it is a strong ally to the United States.”

When asked if military action was irrational, given that Belgium just defeated the U.S. in a friendly sporting match, McCain dismissed the idea.

“In my entire life I have never made an irrational decision that has cost me something,” he said. “I mean, go on: name one. Name one at all.”

  • Struppi

    I don’t think sooooo, taking Belgium in 2 to 3 days is a right that is patneted to Germany. Sorry Mac!!! You’ll have to ask permission from the Krauts!

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  • E Brent Gingell

    the name sarah simpleton comes to mind!

  • liaisonsus

    I hate to think what would have happened if he had won the election..Boy, he would make GW Bush, the Village Idiot, look good!

  • Jcarol

    His recent comments on various topics makes me think the man has lost his mind and is getting very senile or some such problem with his reasoning! For stupid…invade Belgium???

  • Lewis Swanson

    Poor ignorant senile McCain. He can’t get over the a-kicking he got in 2008.

  • Speely

    It’s satire, you know. He didn’t really call for an invasion of Belgium over the World Cup.

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