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Scientists at Harvard University have successfully taught a monkey to understand the theory of evolution.
According to a new paper published today in Nature, a team of primatologists used basic sign language and symbols to teach an orangutan named “Pongo Pete” that humans and other primates shared a common ancestor.... Read More →
Gwyneth Paltrow announced today she is writing a self-help book for people going through a divorce.
In a blog post on Goop, her personal website, the 41-year-old actress said she has signed a deal with a major publisher to write "Conscious Uncoupling: How to Survive Divorce With Style, Grace and Class,” which will draw from her recent experience separating from longtime partner Chris Martin.... Read More →
The National Security Agency has won a prestigious Pulitzer Prize for its domestic surveillance program.
According to prize judges the NSA was recognized because it has “collected more information and broke more news stories than any newspaper, magazine or website in existence.”... Read More →
A college softball player from the University of Texas shocked the sports world today by coming out as a heterosexual.
In an emotional press conference this morning, Jennifer Ryan, 23, announced that she was a “proud member” of the opposite-sex community. The senior shortstop is believed to be the first and only openly straight women’s softball player in the history of NCAA athletics.... Read More →
A band of self-described American patriots has taken over the community of Crimea, Louisiana, in order to defend it from Russian invasion.
The eight heavily-armed Americans drove into the community on motorcycles and in trucks around 10:45 a.m. today and declared it occupied by the United States at around 10:52 a.m., according to witnesses.... Read More →
Malaysian investigators now believe the American news network CNN may have ordered the downing of Malaysia Air Flight 370 in an effort to boost its flagging ratings.
At a press conference today in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said that police were looking into the theory that executives at world’s first cable news channel may have somehow influenced someone on board the aircraft during its fateful flight.... Read More →
Hobby Lobby fired an employee yesterday for divorcing her husband without company approval.
33-year old Jennifer Silverton of Scottsdale, Ariz., spent seven years as a cashier at the arts and crafts retail giant and was promoted to assistant manager just two weeks ago.... Read More →
North Korea announced today that its leader Kim Jung-Un has a perfect NCAA tournament bracket going into the third round of the prestigious collegiate basketball competition.
According to a report by state-owned KCTV news, Arizona’s crushing victory over Gonzaga last night means Kim has accurately predicted every member of the Sweet Sixteen. The 31-year-old dictator is believed to be the only person in the world to have achieved this feat.... Read More →
The controversial Westboro Baptist Church has asked the public not to picket the funeral of its founder, Pastor Fred Phelps, who died this week at 84, and "have a little decency and respect" for his family and friends.
In a statement posted on its website, the Topeka, Kan.-based church – home to America’s most hated family – claimed members of the public have threatened to protest Phelps’ funeral just as the church protested the funerals of others.... Read More →
Sarah Palin claimed today that Malaysia Flight 370 may have vanished because it mistakenly flew too high and ended up in heaven.
During an appearance on Fox News last night, Sean Hannity asked the former vice-presidential candidate for her thoughts about the aircraft, which has been missing for nearly two weeks.... Read More →
As I write this, the United States is facing the greatest foreign crisis in our entire history: a showdown between pro-America Ukraine and Vladimir Putin’s pro-evil Russia.
It’s a greater crisis than Syria, Libya, Iran, North Korea, Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Pakistan, China, Georgia, Somalia, Burma, Venezuela, Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Palestine. Well, maybe not all those places, but pretty damn close.... Read More →
The secretive scientific research organization known as "The Dharma Initiative" has denied responsibility for the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
In a statement released today on the group's website, Dharma's CEO Hugh McIntyre said that despite the similarities between this case and that of the infamous Oceanic Flight 815, the two incidents do not share a common cause.... Read More →
