Jerry Thompson, an American astronaut who was in orbit this week, claims to have matched with an extraterrestrial on Tinder.
“It’s lonely out in space,” said Thompson in a recent press conference. “I miss the earth so much. I miss my wife. So yeah, sometimes I’ll go on Tinder just to see what’s out there. I always get the message ‘there’s no one new around you,’ but then I saw her.”... Read More →
Scientists are stumped after new images show a massive pile of human garbage on Pluto.
“How the Hell did McDonald’s bags and Snicker candy bar wrappers make its way to Pluto?” asked space scientist Todd Hammel, at a press conference today at NASA headquarters.... Read More →
Tokyo University scientists have used genetic engineering to create cows that produce orange juice instead of traditional milk.
According to a report in New Japan Times Weekly (NJTW, the juice is a little creamier than your store bought orange juice but the taste is exactly the same. The drink is called Kawai Saiko, loosely translates to “Tasty Bovine Pleasure Juice.”... Read More →
Global warming and climate change are harming God’s creations and preventing the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, a study released this week has found.
The study, authored by respected Christian non-scientists at Liberty and Bob Jones universities, found that while God still controls the weather, humans are interfering with his work and causing global warming and climate change through sinful, destructive activities. In addition, the study found humans are also committing a sin by ignoring the deadly effects.... Read More →
A group of scientists has discovered an extra-solar planet capable of supporting Michele Bachmann, should world leaders decide to banish her from the Earth.
According to a study published today in Nature Astroscience, researchers at the University of Minnesota analyzed data from NASA’s Kepler mission and detected an Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone around the star Tau Ceti.... Read More →
A new study published today finds that casual sex has increased 83% since Obamacare took effect in January.
Writing in the prestigious Nature Harlotology researchers from Stanford University demonstrated that better access to contraception has made women much more likely to have multiple, short-term sexual partners.... Read More →
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Scientists at Stanford University released a study today showing that men who regularly eat grits are 70 percent more likely to have gay children.
The prospective cohort study, published in Nature Medicine, followed 15,000 volunteers for 30 years to determine the influence of parental diet on the development of childhood illnesses.... Read More →
Photo: Thinkstock
Scientists at Harvard University have successfully taught a monkey to understand the theory of evolution.
According to a new paper published today in Nature, a team of primatologists used basic sign language and symbols to teach an orangutan named “Pongo Pete” that humans and other primates shared a common ancestor.... Read More →
As of last week, most Americans may associate the word "Sharknado" with a silly, so-bad-it's-good television movie.
Not so fast, say scientists who warn that real-life "sharknadoes" as depicted in the movie have already been reported – a few times, in fact.... Read More →
NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.
According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.... Read More →
Christian minister Ray Comfort claimed today that the existence of pineapple disproves the Big Bang theory.
In a video uploaded to his official YouTube channel, the New Zealand-born leader of The Way of the Master ministry said that the spiny fruit could only exist in a universe created by God.... Read More →
Researchers from Stanford University today announced the discovery of a cave in South America full of colorless green ideas.
An entire colony of colorless green ideas, or CGIDs as scientists have dubbed them, was found sleeping furiously in the vicinity of Lake General Carrera in the Patagonian south of Chile. ... Read More →
