The Catholic Church is considering tapping convicted child rapist Jerry Sandusky as its next pope, The Daily Currant can reveal.
According to sources inside the Vatican, the Church believes the unorthodox move would aggressively rebut the "political correctness" of "secular elites" who in recent years have dared to challenge the institution's rich tradition of systematically protecting child predators from justice.... Read More →
President Barack Obama blasted the news media this morning for labeling him a "liberal," claiming that he has governed from the right during his presidency.
During a two-hour press conference at the White House, Obama became upset after a reporter asked if his policies are too liberal for the United States.... Read More →
Former Vice President Dick Cheney called for the immediate invasion of Iran today, arguing the time had come to stop the Iranian nuclear program with American boots on the ground.
In a speech to the conservative Heritage Foundation, the 72-year-old Republican criticized the Obama administration for its "appeasement" of Tehran's rulers and outlined a "fool-proof" plan to occupy the Islamic republic of 75 million people.... Read More →
Russian President Vladimir Putin reportedly killed a grizzly bear using only his hands today while trying to save a group of babies and pregnant women from attack.
According to state-owned television network Rossiya 1, the heroic incident took place in the Siberian city of Irkutsk, where Putin was attending a meeting of regional governors.... Read More →
Tagg Romney, the eldest son of failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney, is reportedly considering a run for president in 2016.
The hedge fund executive is said to be lining up key donors and hiring essential staff in an effort to continue the Romney family's political legacy in national politics.... Read More →
Conservative radio host Glenn Beck called 911 today after accidentally eating a pizza prepared according to Muslim tradition from a Arab-owned pizzeria.
According to a review of the emergency 911 tapes, the 48-year-old commentator was afraid he had contracted food poisoning from the "contaminated" meal and expressed concern that the restaurant may have links to terrorism. ... Read More →
Just weeks after leaving Fox News, Sarah Palin is bouncing back by joining the fledgling Al Jazeera America news network as a host and commentator.
The former vice presidential nominee confirmed today that she has signed a multi-million dollar deal to host her own shows and to provide commentary on United States issues for Al Jazeera, which is best known for its news coverage of the Middle East.... Read More →
Fox News host Sean Hannity has blamed President Obama for Sunday's power outage at the Super Bowl.
In a quickly deleted tweet the conservative commentator insinuated that the Obama administration hated capitalism so much it sabotaged the advertising-filled corporate event in an act of civil disobedience.
In a tweet posted at 09:07 EST - a half-hour into the power outage delay - Hannity posted his thoughts on the matter:... Read More →
Newark Mayor Cory Booker gave CPR to a sleeping elderly fan during the Super Bowl tonight, in an unnecessary attempt to save her life.
The 88-year-old woman fell asleep late in the first quarter. Booker, assuming she was dying of a heart attack, sprung into action and began giving her mouth-to-mouth.... Read More →
Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe issued an executive order today banning the color white from his southern African country.
Speaking at a press conference in the capital Harare, the controversial, octogenarian leader said the order would immediately outlaw the possession of all white-colored objects and mandate harsh prison sentences for those found to be non-compliant.... Read More →
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh was refused service at a Mexican restaurant in Florida today while attempting to eat lunch.
The owners of Pablo's Taqueria in Palm Beach Gardens say that they have a strict "no racists" policy and kindly asked Limbaugh to leave the premises when he attempted to place his order.
He initially declined to leave the restaurant, and after a brief argument was escorted out by security guards.... Read More →
Conservative commentator and author Ann Coulter refused to stay on board a Miami to New York commercial airline flight today after learning the pilot was a woman of African-American descent.
According to witness reports Coulter was concerned the experienced, decorated pilot in question may have gained her position as a result of affirmative action and wasn't fully qualified to fly.... Read More →
