The Reverend Al Sharpton has been turned away from the polls today for failing to produce a photo ID.

The 58 year old civil rights activist and MSNBC host was blocked from casting his ballot by an incompetent volunteer poll worker, who mistakenly believed New York required identification to vote.... Read More →


Former U.S. president George W. Bush accidentally voted for Barack Obama today at a polling place near his Crawford, TX home.

According to local reports, the two-term Republican was confused by the instructions on his electronic voting machine and mistakenly cast a ballot he intended to discard.

Witnesses say Bush argued with poll workers for several minutes afterwards in a effort to redo his vote, but in accordance with state law they ultimately denied his request.

... Read More →


Texas governor and former Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry suffered another memory lapse today, forgetting Mitt Romney's name for an agonizing 146 seconds on live television.

The incident occurred this morning outside a Texas polling station where Perry cast his vote. He had invited the media along for the trip intending to stage a photo-op afterwards in an effort to get out the vote. ... Read More →


Fox News has called the 2012 presidential election for Republican Mitt Romney.

The official call came this morning during Fox and Friends when blond newsreader Gretchen Carlson made the declaration:

"Okay folks hang onto your hats, this is a big one. Fox News can now project that Republican Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts will be the 45th President of the United States."... Read More →


Fox News political pundit Dick Morris says Mitt Romney will easily win tomorrow's presidential election, predicting 'at least' a 25-point margin for the Republican candidate.

The veteran pollster and political prognosticator claimed in a interview with Fox blond newsreader Megyn Kelly that mainstream polls vastly underestimate Romney's support in an effort to fix the election, and that the real numbers are much higher.... Read More →


Mitt Romney YoutubeRepublican presidential candidate Mitt Romney claimed today that he was born in the Ohio city of Toledo.

The claim comes the day before the U.S. presidential election, the outcome of which is likely to rest on voters in this industrial midwestern state.

Romney was actually born in Detroit, Michigan, just 60 miles north of the Ohio border. This inconvenient reality, however, didn't stop the notorious fibber from proclaiming his love for his newfound homestate:... Read More →


Former Arkansas governor and Chick-Fil-A eating contest winner Mike Huckabee courted controversy today by claiming Hurricane Sandy was sent by god to warn Americans not to vote for Barack Obama in tomorrow's election.

On his daily radio show the conservative commentator agreed with a caller who labeled the deadly storm a "a signal from God" and urged Americans to heed the divine exhortation.... Read More →


Convicted financial fraudster Bernard Madoff endorsed Mitt Romney for president today, saying the private equity executive has the "ambiguous moral character" needed to juggle the complex challenges facing America.

In an exclusive interview from his jail cell in North Carolina, the architect of the largest ponzi scheme in history tells The Daily Currant that Romney reminds him much of himself:... Read More →


London mayor Boris Johnson has called on American voters to defeat Republican candidate Mitt Romney in tomorrow's presidential election.

The Conservative Party politician said in a interview with Sky News that Romney is 'the most ridiculous person' to ever run for the office and vowed not to visit the U.S. if he is elected.... Read More →


Former Vice-President Al Gore released a scathing video on Youtube today chastising politicians and the American public for their inaction and disinterest on global climate change.

In a brutal seven minute rant the Nobel Prize winning loser of the 2000 presidential election tears into oil companies, Congress, President Obama, and the creators of South Park before turning his ire directly on the American public:... Read More →


Indiana U.S. Senate candidate Richard Mourdock caused fresh controversy today by suggesting that women should pray to avoid being raped.

In a meeting with the editorial board of a small newspaper in southern Indiana Mourdock claimed that many rape victims are "not right with the Lord" and should have "prayed a little harder" to avoid their fate.... Read More →


Mitt Romney YoutubeU.S. Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney called for the banning of Instagram today, apparently under the misapprehension that the popular photo sharing app is used for measuring quantities of illegal street drugs.

The former Massachusetts governor was speaking at a retirement home in Florida, part of a last-minute campaign swing before Monday's presidential debate.... Read More →